Over the past few days during my work experience at Ben Locker and Associates, I’ve been writing descriptions for a client’s products.
What inspired me for a lot of my descriptions was the beautiful weather outside – I was gazing over a field, watching the trees sway in the icy wind and the rain pattering down steadily, creating ripples on a roof below.
I learnt that, when writing product descriptions, it’s best not to use the same word too closely together. For example, writing ‘‘incredible’’ on one line and then using it again on the next can sound repetitive. Variety is essential because you need to keep the reader engaged and interested in the product itself. Repeating yourself too often will only bore them and they won’t read what you have to say – so because of a lousy description, you could lose a sale.
Good product descriptions
I decided to take a look at some websites which are doing descriptions rather well and I found HMV (www.hmv.com). A product description I really liked was one for some Skullcandy earphones:
Ink adds permanence. It forces the visual representation of an idea, concept, ideal or experience, and tangibly commemorates it. Like a tattoo, graffiti, or stretch marks. Until you’re really ready to commit, go with the INK’D ear buds. Big sound, little price, no visible scarring.
What I really love about this description is that it engages the reader. It reinforces Skullcandy’s inspirational and powerful reputation.
The opening sentence in a product description is almost always the most important one. It’s the first thing the costumer reads and it shapes their first judgment of the product. ‘‘Ink adds permanence’’ is a really brilliant opening because it tells you what range the product is from and that it adds permanence to your music and to you, which is really appealing to its teenage target audience.
Amazed by a product description
I also came across the Ford website (www.ford.co.uk) and I was amazed by its description for the Ford Fiesta:
Fiesta is a vivid expression of all that is inspirational in design today. If you’ve ever marvelled at ground-breaking architecture, been excited by haute couture; or been moved by art – this car will provoke a strong sense of déjà vu. Today’s design icons have influenced every line and detail, from Fiesta’s sculpted, dynamic exterior to its sophisticated interior. And the technology in the cabin is as innovative as the most advanced electronics around today. Fiesta’s stylish looks are also complemented by the smart thinking of Ford ECOnetic Technology which delivers greater fuel economy and lowers CO2 emissions without sacrificing performance.
This description really is selling you this car. The first two sentences emphasise its inspirational qualities, that it’s ‘‘been moved by art’’. ‘‘Provoke’’ is a brilliant word to use and linking it to déjà vu gives it spirit, telling us this car is inspired by the traditional art, that this car is art. But it’s a responsible choice too – the cars ECOnetic technology reassures you that ear and performance don’t come at a major environmental cost.
So, whether you’re hoping to sell toys, earphones or even cars, if your description is aimed at the right audience, makes them smile, and gives them good reasons to buy – then it’s doing its job perfectly.