We all have favourite words. Mine include beauties like ‘plop’, ‘scud’ and ‘gargle’, because I like nice sounds more than sophisticated definitions.
But what about the words you hate? The ones that appear like dog turds on the pavement of prose?
I can’t speak for you, but mine are:
Using the word ‘peruse’ marks you out as a hater of the English language. It is affected, self-regarding, ugly and completely unnecessary. And if you’re the sort of person who likes to ‘peruse at your leisure’, then you ought to be shot. Twice.
One of the main rules of the internet is to never read a blog that claims to be someone’s musings – no matter what the topic. It will be almost certainly be boring, ego-massaging tosspottery (‘tosspottery’ is a fine word).
What’s wrong with motivating or encouraging people? Why do we need this revolting arrangement of letters?
It’s a fecking drink.
When I think ‘mains’, I’m thinking about water and electricity supplies. I’m not thinking about what I want for dinner. If you can’t be bothered to arrange your menu with imagination, ‘main courses’ will do nicely.
You almost certainly mean ‘use’, so grow up and stop mouthing empty phrases.
Are you a biologist? No? Then you almost certainly mean ‘oblige’. Stop trying to be clever.
It’s still a guess. Any more compound words like this and we’ll all end up German. Stop.
Pretty much the only time this one is acceptable is when you roll out the barrel. You have been warned.
Use this one and clarity ain’t what you’re good at. And you’ve just lost any chance of me becoming a customer.
So, there you go. Ten horrible words, chosen almost at random, which all make me feel the writer has scraped his nails down a blackboard.
Which ones would you choose?